


The Dinner Party

by CheebsyCho



Category: Borderlands (Video Games)
Genre: Dinner Party, Multi, Shenanigans, nerds, tagging is hard
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-23
Updated: 2019-05-23
Packaged: 2020-03-10 04:54:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,097
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18931666
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CheebsyCho/pseuds/CheebsyCho
Summary: Prompt: dinner partyZer0 and Rhys have kept their relationship a secret from their friends.  However when they find out, they all are interested and meeting their friends respective partner.  What better way to deal with an awkward encounter like this than a dinner party?  (There are lots of better ways but Zer0 and Rhys are bad at this okay?)





	1. The Slip Up

Rhys had been trying to keep his relationship with his current datefriend a secret from his friends. It wasn’t that he was ashamed of Zer0 or anything like that, he just knew his friends could be very judgemental. Vaughn and Yvette were overprotective and Sasha and Fiona were skeptical of just about anything. He wouldn’t be surprised if they somehow thought Zer0 was just using him for free weapons or whatever.

On the other hand, Zer0 had also kept their relationship a secret from their friends. Okay, secret was a strong word, they just never told them. When Rhys had asked out of sheer curiosity Zer0 shrugged and stated “They have not asked me.” Which in Zer0 terms was a pretty valid argument. Rhys also had no right to judge since he had been actively avoiding telling his own friends.

Rhys would have honestly been content with just keeping quiet for another year, maybe two, but he got too comfortable. 

You see, Zer0 was still one of the best assassins out there, so Rhys often hired them for missions. He strictly forbade all romantic interactions when on Atlas property. Rhys excuse was that he had an ‘image to maintain.’ Zer0 had for some reason found that hilarious, but respected his wishes.

Then Rhys got greedy.

He figured a little flirting was fine as long as he was in the office. He wanted to blame Zer0, since they had originally instigated with heart emojis and suggestive banter but it was really his own fault. Rhys had to admit that he was a huge sap and that ended up being his downfall. After giving Zer0 another assignment, Rhys had leaned over and quickly kissed their helmet. It was something so simple, just a quick peck, but of course Yvette had to open the door at that EXACT moment.

Before Rhys could explain, Yvette briefly apologized, left some papers on his desk and left. Rhys silently hoped that she wouldn’t mention it once Zer0 left, and she didn’t. However an hour later he got many angry texts and voicemails from Sasha and Fiona and also Vaughn coming into his office screaming about “Making out with a highly trained assassin who could kill you in seconds!”

They didn’t take the news well. Overall, they seemed more upset that he didn’t say anything and assumed the reason was because Zer0 was secretly holding him hostage. (“Blink twice if you’re in trouble.” Sasha had joked at one point). They were all very adamant about meeting his new partner so they could “size them up” as they put it, whatever that means.

Okay so that was fine. He knew he had to go through this at some point. He hadn’t expected to keep their relationship a secret forever after all. Also, he could handle his friends. He knew that at the end of the day they just wanted the best for him and even if for some reason they didn’t approve of Zer0, he would tell them that it wasn’t their choice to make.

No, what really threw him off guard was when after he returned home and received a knock on his door. Opening it revealed Zer0 covered in blood.

“Are you okay?” Rhys asked on reflex. It was a silly question really, the blood on their suit was clearly not theirs. Still, Rhys felt the need to make sure.

“We have a problem.” Zer0 said walking in.

“Zer0…” Rhys scolded as blood dripped onto the floor. Thank goodness the apartment was hard wood.

“Sorry, I’ll help clean later.” They promised.

“Okay good you know how squeamish I get.” Rhys said with a smile, but it fell from his face when Zer0 didn’t follow up with a witty comment. “What's wrong?”

“Do not freak out Rhys.”

That was not the right thing to say, as Rhys was already pre freaking out. “What? What happened?”

Zer0 shifted from one leg to another, a habit Rhys noticed they had whenever dealing with awkward or uncomfortable conversation. “My friends are aware / we are dating. Meeting is / inevitable. “ 

Rhys paused as he processed the information. And then the panic began to set in. “So you're telling me that not only do my friends want to meet you but now your friends want to meet me?” Rhys groaned. “This is the worst case scenario. What if your friends don’t like me? What if they think I’m lame? What if they help you realize how lame I really am and you break up with me because I am so lame.”

“I’m fully aware / of how lame you currently / are. I still like you.” **[ :) ]**

Rhys raised an eyebrow. “Is that suppose to make me feel better?” Zer0 nodded. “It doesn’t.” **[ :( ]** “Okay. . . it does but just a little!” **[:D]**

“My comrades often / spend time at Moxxi’s. I can / accompany you.”

“No no no.” Rhys groaned. “Sanctuary is basically there turf. They know the layout the best. No, we should all meet at least on equal ground. Oh, better yet let’s meet up in a place they’ve never been! It’ll throw them off guard. Unfamiliar territory, that’s a thing right?”

“They’re not enemies.” **[:/]**

“I know that! I just feel it would be easier for everyone to meet each other somewhere I’m comfortable in. It’ll help me be less nervous. Oh! We could get everything out of the way and invite my friends too! Most of them already know who you are after the traveler mission but they don’t KNOW know you. And then our friends could meet each other! Hopefully keep each other busy and keep some attention off us, the perfect strategy.”

**[?]** “You’re overthinking again.”

Rhys shook his head. “Zer0 this is your first time around the relationship rodeo isn’t it? You have no idea how big of a deal this moment is! I mean our friends meeting us and also each other is like, it’s like in movies when the couples family meet each other. If for whatever reason they hate each other or the other’s partner that’s it! Wacky Shenanigans that lead to complete tomoil and potential ending of relationships!”

Zer0 was almost positive that Rhys was blowing things out of proportion. Rhys was known for being a bit dramatic. Still, they had spend many nights in watching movies and tv shows with Rhys. Plus, Zer0 still didn’t fully understand human relationship customs. Maybe Rhys had a point. . . “It’s that serious?”

“Yes! That is what I’ve been trying to tell you.”

Zer0 nodded in understanding. “Then we should come up with a / strategy. Ideas?”

Rhys grinned. “Now you’re talking! As I was saying, if we have everyone meet at the same time not only would it get both awkward encounters out the way, but also draw some attention off us. But we need to set up a place to meet where you and I are both comfortable. That will throw both of our friend groups off guard. That’s going to be pretty tough though. . .”

Zer0 tried to think of a place that would be new to both parties, make them slightly uncomfortable, and give the two of them the advantage. The struggle was Zer0’s friends were vastly different from Rhys’ so it didn’t leave a lot of options. Zer0 turned to look around the apartment. “Have any of your / friends visited this place yet?” Zer0 asked. Rhys had recently got a new apartment with his new Atlas money.

Rhys shook his head no. “Only Vaughn, he helped me move in. No one else has seen it yet. Why?” **[:D]** “Oh my gosh Zer0 you are absolutely brilliant, I could kiss the beautiful mask of yours.”

“Later.” [;)] “First we must / think of a way to / convince them to come without / raising suspicion.”

“Okay let me think, what can I offer here that can simultaneously convince a bunch of vault hunters and former Hyperion now Atlas employees to come over to my apartment?” Rhys questioned.

“Something in common?” **[?]**

Rhys bit his lip. “Something they all have in common? Uh they’re all human?” Rhys joked. **[:/]** “Yeah sorry that wasn’t funny. Alright um-” Rhys glanced over at his unused kitchen and snapped his fingers. “Food! That's what they have in common they all love food! Right?” He turned towards Zer0 for confirmation and was reinvigorated when Zer0 nodded. “Alright I have the perfect idea! A dinner party! It can be semi formal. You know, not too formal but formal enough to make everyone uncomfortable.”

Zer0 didn’t looked impressed. “Rhys, you cannot cook. At all.”

Rhys scoffed. “I can cook alright? I can make basic stuff.” 

“You will need food for / at the very least / ten people. I am unsure / if it’s possible.”

“Yvette is great at cooking so I’ll just ask for some of her recipes. How hard is it to follow a recipe.” **[ . . . ]** “Come on Ze, have a little faith in me? Please?” With that Rhys batted his eyes at the assassin.

Zer0 still seemed unconvinced, but they showed their support with a heart emoji. **[ <3]** “I will assist in / anyway I can. When should / We host the event?”

“Can you see if your friends will be free this Saturday night? It’ll give us time to get the ingredients and do any prepping. It’ll also give everyone time to find something formal to wear.”

Zer0 pulled up their Echo and began to send messages to everyone in the vault hunter squad. “I’ve notified them / I should hear back shortly. Are / you sure about this?” Zer0 asked. It was more of a formality since they had already sent the invitations.

Rhys laughed nervously. “As sure as I’ll ever be. Operation dinner party is a go. Don’t worry, we are going to nail this.”

They weren’t going to nail this.


	2. Cooking Is Hard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rhys tries his best to cook but his efforts are in vein. Zer0 decides it's time to bring in a celebrity guest!

It was Saturday and Rhys was panicking. He had no idea why he thought that he would be able to pull this off. When Rhys told Yvette about the dinner party she had given him a bunch of recipes that were “sure to impress” as she put it. He had assured her he could handle i himself but problem was, it was apparently very hard to mess up a recipe. Who knew?

The doorbell rang and Rhys froze in fear. What the heck? No one was supposed to be here for at least another three hours! Rhys ran to the door and looked through the peephole. “Oh thank god.” He muttered as he opened the door to reveal Zer0. 

“You look very stressed.” Zer0 commented as they walked inside the apartment carrying a bag filled with bottles of wine that Rhys had asked them to buy.

“Thanks.” Rhys grabbed the bottles from them and placed it on the table.

“How is your cooking going?” Zer0 questioned as they followed him into the kitchen. Long story short, it was a war zone. “. . . Not well I assume.”

“This is a nightmare! Why did I think that a dinner party would be a good idea anyway!?” Zer0 raised a finger to speak. “Don’t you dare say I told you so.” Zer0 immediately dropped the finger. Instead, they walked over to the counter and looked at the recipes.

“Were you planning on / making all of these dishes?”

“Yeah.”

“Rhys. . .” **[ಠ_ಠ]**

“Ugh I know! I’m an overachiever and I’m bad at it.” Rhys looked at Zer0 with a pouty face. “Help? Please?” 

Zer0 shook their head, essentially their version of rolling their eyes. They look over the recipies again. They were definitely a bit complicated. Zer0 wasn’t much of a cook but they were still significantly better than Rhys. Still, these were a bit challenging even for them. Charred skag with sweet potatoes and oranges? Roasted pumpkin, Marjoram and Blue Cheese Frittata? What even was a Marjoram? Zer0 turned towards Rhys again looking just as confused as he was. **[¯\\_(ツ)_/¯]**

“Zer0!!!”

“”Here’s a suggestion. / Have you tried calling Yvette? / She’ll probably help.”

Rhys shook his head. “Absolutely not! I have to at least be able to prove that I can do something by myself. Now help me cut these sweet potatoes.” 

Zer0 wondered if Rhys realized the irony of this situation. Probably not. “Give me a moment.” With that Zer0 disappeared into the bathroom. They brought up their Ech0 and looked through their contacts. They were sure they had her number in here somewhere- ah there it was, Yvette. They gave her a call hoping that she would pick up. 

“Okay who is this and how did you get this number-” She paused. “Zer0!?”

Zer0 wondered why Yvette didn’t have their number, but then they remembered they stole it from Rhys that one time. 

“Good evening Yvette.”

“Um hi? How did you even get this- you know what it doesn’t matter. Um, what do you need?”

“Sorry for the short notice. / Could you come early?”

Yvette raised her eyebrow. “Like right now? I mean I suppose I could just bring my stuff and get ready there, any particular reason though?”

“Rhys is in over / his head with cooking. He could / use some assistance.”

Yvette groaned and slapped a hand to her forehead. “I told him I could give him easier recipes if he wanted but he insisted on the harder ones. I knew I shouldn’t have listened to him but I figured it would be funny to watch him stumble over himself a bit.” She said with a laugh. “I could come over and help salvage whatever mess he has made, but what would be in it for me?” She asked.

Zer0 thought about threatening her for a moment, but according to Maya that was not how people traditionally bonded with each other. They would need to try another approach. “As compensation / for your assistance how is / A favor owed then? “

Yvette sighed. “Rhys owes me plenty of favors alread-”

“No, not from Rhys. I’ll / owe you the favor myself. “

Yvette looked surprised. “Wait seriously?”

Zer0 nodded. “Do we have a deal?”

Yvette smiled from the other line. “I’ll be there in ten. Make sure to do some damage control okay? The less ingredients Rhys wastes the better.”

Zer0 displayed **[TNKS]** before hanging up. They returned to the kitchen to see how Rhys was progressing only to see the kitchen filled with smoke. [!!!] They ran over to the stove and saw the culprit was a pan filled with oil burning. They quickly turned the burner off and moved the burning into the sink and turned on the cold water. It generated a lot of steam but that was much better than smoke in their opinion. Zer0 immediately turned towards Rhys who had been previously started cutting sweet potatoes but was now staring at Zer0. “Hey! That was heating!”

“It almost caught on fire.” **[ಠ_ಠ]**. Rhys tilted his head in confusion and Zer0 gestured to the smoke. 

“Oh.” Rhys muttered dumbly. “I guess I didn’t notice.” 

“How about you rest? / I can take over a bit.” Zer0 suggested, opening a few windows to let the smoke out.

Rhys frowned. “No, that wouldn’t be fair. This was my dumb idea after all.” Rhys sighed as he sat down in one of the dining rooms chairs. “Ugh this whole dinner party is going to be a disaster, I don’t know what I was thinking. I just- I just wanted everyone to like each other. I want your friends to like me, and I want my friends to like you. But how are we going to have a dinner party without dinner.”

Zer0 walked behind Rhys and wrapped their arms around his shoulder. “We still have a few hours. I think it will all work out in the end.”

“I don’t know Zer0.” Rhys sighed. “I am really in over my head this time.”  
As if on cue there was a knock on the door. Rhys jumped. “Who could be here so early!?”

Zer0 let go of Rhys and walked toward the door. “I will answer it.” 

Opening the door revealed Yvette. She had a garment bag and a box in her hand. “Evening you two.” She greeted walking in and dropping her items onto a chair. She looked around the kitchen. “Well it’s not a complete disaster.” She sniffed the air a bit. “Rhys did you start a fire?”

“No! I almost did but I didn’t actually do it. What are you even doing here?”

Yvette rolled her eyes. “Zer0 called me. If you needed help you could have contacted me sooner. Or you know, chosen something easier?”

Rhys gave Zer0 an accusatory look. “You called Yvette?” 

“You were depressing to watch.” **[ :) ]**

Rhys frowned at their datefriend. Yvette walked over to Rhys and urged him to stand up. “Rhys, your stressed. Why don’t you go start getting ready? Zer0 and I can take it from here.” Rhys seemed hesitant. “Go on now. I know it takes you forever to get ready. Plus it will give Zer0 and I a chance to get to know each other.” She gave them both a mischievous smile.

Rhys looked at Zer0 wearily and Zer0 was beginning to regret their decision to invite Yvette for help. They had fallen for the oldest trick in the book: Divide and Conquer. Not only to Yvette get a favor from a vault hunter out of this, but now with Rhys out of the picture she could prod Zer0 for all the questions she wanted. Rhys could always stay, but he honestly didn’t want to be here for this. Yvette walked towards the kitchen and Rhys quickly mouthed an “I’m sorry” to Zer0 before disappearing into the bathroom.

‘Traitor.’ Zer0 thought to themself as they followed Yvette into the kitchen.

“Alright Zer0 start off but cutting these vegetables for me.” Yvette stated handing a bunch of miscellaneous produce to Zer0 before seasoning and beginning prep for the meat based dishes. The two worked in relative silence for about 15 minutes, the only sound being the occasional orders Yvette gave.

Yvette put one of the casseroles Rhys was adamant about including in the oven. “So you and Rhys huh? Gotta say that’s not a combination I saw coming.” Zer0 remained silent. “What cat got your tongue?” 

Zer0 tilted their head. “Unlikely. We do / not own a cat or any / animal right now.”

Yvette raised an eyebrow. “That is actually-”

“An expression. I / know. I was attempting a joke.”  
“Oh.” Yvette muttered. 

Another wave of silence. This was awkward.

“You know I’m not going to grill you or anything if that’s what you are worried about.” 

Zer0 stayed quiet for a moment. “You aren’t?” They asked, breaking haiku

“Nope. You are going to get enough of that from Sasha and Fiona trust me. Plus, I don’t want to make you repeat any questions.” Yvette said with a grin.

“Oh.” Zer0 sighed.

“I just-” Yvette paused for a moment walking to a cutting board and cutting up some spring onions. “I trust Rhys to make his own decisions, I do. He wouldn’t be dating you if he didn’t trust you. I think that’s what we are mostly worried about. You have this reputation as this cutthroat killer who will do anything to complete a mission. And I mean, Rhys is this big time CEO now. For all we know you could be getting closer to him just to. . .well. . . . “ She trailed off.

Zer0 knew what she was getting at and they didn’t like the insinuation. “I care about Rhys. / I wouldn’t-”

“But that’s the thing.” Yvette interrupted. “We don’t know that for sure because we don’t know you. You could sit here all day and tell me that you would never hurt Rhys because you love him or whatever but for all I know you could be a liar. I want to trust in Rhys, that he wouldn’t date anyone who had any intentions of hurting him but. . .” She paused her cutting for a moment. “Look Rhys doesn’t have a great track record when it comes to trust. He’s put full trust in me, Fiona, Sasha and Vaughn. With all the things we’ve been through we’ve all at least thought of betraying him at one point. Hell, some of us have. Yet he still forgave us and trusts us completely. Rhys may act like a complete douchebag sometimes but at the heart of it he’s probably the best of us. If you ever did hurt him he’d probably end up forgiving you in the end. That’s just who he is. I know me of all people have no right to say this but we just want to make sure your intentions are pure.” 

Zer0 had a slight idea of what she was saying. Rhys didn’t talk much about what went on during the Gortys project, he always got weirdly defensive about it. He did briefly mention the details of Yvette’s betrayal. There was a part of them that wanted to rub it in, that they would never do something like she did to Rhys. However, a greater part of them respected her for this. Zer0 had no intention of hurting Rhys or his friends, but they had to admit it took a lot of guts to question a supposed ‘cutthroat killer’ they was she was currently.

“Oh, i’m also going to say this now because I know no one else will be brave enough to do it themselves.” With that she took the knife she was holding and slammed it hard into the wooden cutting board. “I don’t care how many times Rhys is willing to forgive you, if you hurt Rhys even once, you’ll regret it. You may be some big bad assassin who could probably kill me in seconds but trust me, I have my ways Zer0. Got it?”  
Yep, definitely a lot of guts. Zer0 didn’t want to call it so early, but Yvette might be their favorite. “Understood.” **[ :) ]**

Yvette and Zer0 continued to cook together making mild chatter. Yvette told Zer0 a few embarrassing stories about Rhys that they were definitely going to memorize so they could tease him with them later. 

It was getting closer to the start time, the guests would be arriving any minute. Rhys came out, fully dressed. He wore a light blue dress shirt with tiny white stars all over the front. On top of the dress shirt was a black wool vest paired with black tailored pants. “How do I look?” He asked using his, as his friends called it, ‘handsome jack tone.’

“I’m just glad you aren’t wearing a tie that goes into your pants.” Yvette said, her and Zer0 sharing a laugh.

Rhys huffed. “Oh ha ha very funny.” 

“You look amazing.” **[ :) ]** Zer0 complimented, causing Rhys face to heat up a bit.

“Alright I’m going to leave you two love birds to change.” She grabbed the garment bag and the box she had previously placed on the table and disappeared into the bathroom.

Rhys raised an eyebrow at Zer0. “Um, aren’t you going to get dressed?”

 **[ ? ]** “I am dressed.”

“Oh. So you are wearing your normal suit.”

“Is there a problem?”

“No I mean it’s just it’s a semi formal party I just thought you were going to. . . be semi formal.” **[ಠ_ಠ]** “Don’t make that face! I know you don’t like wearing other clothes and it’s hard to find clothes in your size. I just. . . “ Rhys paused. “Hang on.” He ran into his bedroom and came back in 30 seconds flat. He pulled out a clip on bowtie that matched his under shirt. “Here put this on!”

“I refuse.” **[ >:( ]**

“Zer0 you have to be somewhat formal!”

“No.”

“Please? For me?” Rhys brought out his secret weapon: the puppy eyes.

 **[ . . . ]** They snatched the bowtie from Rhys hands and clipped it to the front of their suit. They were clearly unhappy with it, but Rhys seemed ecstatic. “Look at us, one of those cheesy couples who match our clothes with each other. Maybe we can buy matching sweaters” Rhys snorted.

“I will take it off.” **[ >:(]**

“I’m joking!” He yelled in protest. Just then, the door knocked. Rhys instantly looked tense again.

Zer0 sighed and tapped him on the shoulder. “It will be fine no need to / worry. We’ll do great.” 

Rhys nodded. “Yeah you’re right. And also uh, thanks for indulging me. I know this is stupid and I blow things out of proportion sometimes but I really appreciate this.” With that he gave Zer0 a quick kiss to the front of their helmet before going to the door to open it.

Zer0 rubbed the front of their mask, briefly displaying a **[ <3]** making sure it disappeared as Rhys opened the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next installment should hopefully be the last part! I may work on other prompts before I finish this one because I have a lot now! Until next time!

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! This Zerhys fic is going to be multiple chapters, probably 3? If you see any errors let me know!


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